In “Wide Awake,” I discussed the importance of maintaining optimal mental and physical health in order to ensure clear reception of what’s coming at you from outside of yourself. Next you will need to make sure that you are not only aware of, but able to manage your engrained default “programming.” Much like the process of setting up a new smart phone, once you have connected to the network, you have to choose the language you want it to use to communicate with you. This is where the interpretation that I asked you to take note of in the first paragraph of my previous post comes into play. Understanding your unique interpretive bias is just as important as the strength and clarity of the information that’s reaching you.
So how do you gain this powerful perspective?
One of the most efficient ways is to focus on your EQ “Emotional Intelligence.” I am not alone in my belief that your EQ is every bit as important, if not more, than your IQ. Recognizing that everything you experience comes to you through the lens of your own personal “KALEIDOSCOPE” of sorts; a looking glass that provides you with a view that is either positive or negative, clear or distorted based on your collective life experience (aka the beads inside of it), is imperative. Understanding how these “beads” have skewed and/or distorted your perspective, provides you with such powerful insight about yourself. It doesn’t matter if the table you sit at is your dinner table at home or in the board room of a fortune 100 company… Having this level of understanding of yourself is fundamental as you navigate through the relationships that are cultivated there.
Since it is impossible to go back in time and re-write the history and experiences of our past, it makes much more sense to identify and accept what was, and manage the ramifications of those circumstances responsible for our biases going forward. Having a map that allows us to capitalize on what has proven to serve us and mitigate what doesn’t is invaluable! Once you have this awareness, you are empowered to actively choose and filter what you allow to impact you going forward. Developing “Emotional Intelligence” is every bit as much about understanding yourself and your emotions as it is about controlling them once you do.
I use the EQi to empower my clients. After I have administered and reviewed it with them, we are able to piece together the WHY’s that have been the foundation of their outcomes to date. Each of us has certain engrained parts of our personalities that we are born with, but we also have layers of other people’s crap mixed in with our more “pure self.” Separating and deciphering between the two parts of our personality is where the fun and magic happens! Once you have a better understanding of how your persona was shaped, you can begin the process of managing your “Kaleidoscope.”
Let’s get into some neurological speak for a moment…
If you have clicked on the, “Meet Dani” section of my website, you know I started my undergraduate studies at USC as a Psychobiology Major and I was lucky enough to take an introductory neuroscience class during that first semester of my freshman year. To this day, my professor is fondly remembered as one of the brightest minds I’ve had the privilege to learn from! His class opened my eyes on so many levels and started me down the path of searching for the truth of not only why, but how we are experiencing this life.
Whether you are a Hindu who views this existence as an elaborate and interactive classroom filled with opportunities for your soul to learn and progress toward enlightenment or a Baptist who believes this is your only incarnation, one of my main “take-aways” from that class is it doesn’t actually matter because your experience is dictated by your perception of events, which may or may not match reality, regardless of why you think it is all happening. At the end of the day, we are all having similar experiences of this life, at least from a tactical point of view, so let’s start paying attention to and questioning what we are looking at through our lenses. For the purposes of this discussion let’s dive into some basic neuroscience…
Your brain is an extremely sophisticated, self-learning computer. It receives input from your senses and interprets that input based on how closely it matches with data from previous experiences. Most who have an understanding of how the brain works will agree that this experience we are all having, is actually a virtual reality that is controlled by our “mind’s eye.” That said, I will re-assert my previous point that the clarity of our perception (how clearly our brain interprets what we encounter) is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to manage and care for once we are aware of any default glitches or errant “beads” that might be messing with that interpretation.
Clear input in (healthy antennae – aka physical and mental health) + Accurate interpretation of that input (EQ) = Clear and appropriate response out!
This brings me back to the point I made earlier. Your “Emotional Intelligence” should be a main focus of your time and energy as you begin to work through career or life transitions. Your “mind’s eye” has been, and will continue to take in and interpret data whether you manage it or not! You simply CANNOT delete what has been planted/downloaded to date, but you CAN undertake the process of understanding how it has shaped you and you CAN manage not only what you let in going forward, but if and how you will allow it to affect you in the future.
I offer and administer the EQi to my clients when it’s appropriate because it has proven to consistently yield an accurate snapshot of where a client is coming from when we start to work together. From there we are able to pinpoint where best to focus his/her energy in order to capitalize on their strengths and downplay, manage or redirect what isn’t “working for them.” From where I stand, that’s what EMPOWERMENT is all about!
We are all living/experiencing our own private perception of a virtual reality, so let’s make sure that our interpretation of that experience is as healthy and clear as possible. Understanding, managing and leveraging our default programming is what “Emotional Intelligence” is all about.
Make it a priority to know and understand yourself and the unique “Kaleidoscope” through which you view your existence. Be open to and accepting of all of the “beads” contained inside that are dictating what you are seeing through your lens…
Embrace all of your strengths and blind spots from this new place of clarity.
Once you do, you will be “Wide Awake” and in control of your life and career at a level you thought previously impossible!
Until next time…